In this First Person narrative, Caitlyn Moony shares her journey of relocating to Vancouver and her evolving feelings towards the city. To learn more about CBC’s First Person stories, visit the FAQ.
An old flame once sent Caitlyn Moony a song link by British indie artist Passenger with the lyrics, “Only know you love her when you let her go,” in a misguided attempt to reconcile. Dismissing the gesture, she pondered the irony of realizing one’s feelings only after parting ways.
Reflecting on her relocation to Vancouver from Johannesburg in 2018, Moony, a former social researcher in South Africa, sought better career prospects and stability. Despite her initial excitement about moving to a city praised for its livability, she soon grappled with unmet expectations and feelings of resentment.
Upon arrival, Vancouver’s natural beauty captivated Moony, from the majestic North Shore mountains to the soothing rain in Pacific Spirit Park. However, as time passed, her admiration waned as she encountered challenges integrating into the community and securing meaningful employment.
Struggling with loneliness and a sense of alienation, Moony found herself yearning for the vibrant connections she once had in other locales. The lack of a supportive network and the elusive concept of “Canadian experience” in job requirements added to her frustrations and disillusionment.
Despite her initial discontent, the pandemic-induced isolation in her basement apartment intensified Moony’s desire for human connection and a sense of belonging. Eventually, the overwhelming loneliness prompted her to seek solace in London, a city she found comfort in prior to her Vancouver venture.
In London, amidst the bustling city life, Moony realized a shift within herself that had occurred during her time in Vancouver. She acknowledged a subtle transformation towards a more tranquil and introspective demeanor influenced by the laid-back West Coast lifestyle.
Recognizing the value of self-discovery and the unique bond she formed with Vancouver over time, Moony now contemplates a return to the city, acknowledging its imperfections and challenges while embracing the potential for renewed connection and growth.
With a newfound appreciation for Vancouver’s unique essence and the personal growth it facilitated, Moony approaches her potential return with a sense of acceptance and readiness to rekindle her relationship with the city.